In the name of God, who is the most gracious and merciful,
I believed and felt during the last week that my first confession led me to more unsolved puzzles of life haziness and confusion, along with unanswered pleas and supplications. My thoughts about the reality of life stay unsettled, adding fuel to the fire in my curiosity to get the answer to those questions I have in my mind. I am worried about my current state of being, which is bewildered by the thoughts of rebellious attire, which is not acceptable to you (God) and should not be either. Who will answer my questions, as I don’t see anyone around to help to the extent I glutted? I believe that you have made this world with certain discipline, to be followed by the time till resurrection, but why have you made humans so restive, stubborn, and restless? Why is he not aware of the truth, reality, and purpose of his life? He is being pushed by the spirit to fulfil luscious desires and animal instincts throughout the course of his life. Why the religion is and all revelations prohibit man from talking about the things he likes, is attracted to, needs, and has basic instincts I know you are around me, God. Please help me to solve these life-burning issues, whose exploration has always put me in a dead end alley. I am supposed to think that I was not born to know the secret of untold life issues. I confess that I am unable to control the innate impulse lies beneath, which is so powerful and stands towards lustrous whim, and showed predisposition in me. Why are your blessings for those who are least interested in them? What is self? Why is it that self-denial is demanded from your side? And how painful is it to stay away from the instinctual needs of the self? I have seen your men on earth who conquered themselves and found you in return. Did you not help them get what you wanted for them? If this is your choice, then why am I not chosen and left unattended to fulfill my carnal desires and become flagitious and peccable? I am always looking forward to knowing about your purpose, a divine purpose, about the happening of things, a scheme of things. My critical thinking and analysis invoke religious disappointments, as what is the meaning of life in the absence of religious belief? The great metaphysical comfort of religion, its existential balm, surely resides in its claim that the meaning of human life lies outside of life and outside humanity, and, even if this outside is beyond our limited cognitive powers, we can still turn our faith in this direction. What I opt for is then religious discomfort or comfort of life modernity. Tell Me.
God, I am always looking forward to your joining hands towards inner peace and comfort.
Regards,
Tauseef H. Kazmi S/O Syed Ejaz Hussain Kazmi